You just broke up with your boyfriend of a few months and now you are single. You say to yourself ,now what? Your friends invite you out one night and you meet the the next Bae , but didn’t you just break up with the last bae.
More and more often women are afraid to be alone therefore once they become single and new Bae is always around the corner. Why are we afraid to be with ourselves , are we scared we will pass up on the next best thing , are we lacking self esteem, is sex that good we can’t pass it up.
When I left my relationship once and for all ( at least so I thought ) , the break up lasted close to a year. At the beginning of the break up I said you know what , don’t be like everyone else trying to fill that void of loneliness but instead Be Yourself , Enjoy Yourself!
When I was younger this thought never crossed my mind I mean like most women reading this , guys come a dime a dozen right! There was never a shortage of men wanting to date me or just have sex. At a young age I was all about having a good time or who was gonna pay for my date or take me here or there. When your young you should live it up right.
The only problem is how does this behavior affect you in the future , for when you are ready to take life serious , or when you are concerned with meeting the right person , getting married and having kids.
When my boyfriend and I broke up I was 30 and to be honest the above thoughts did cross my mind. I actually was considering staying single during this breakup to get to know myself better. I promised myself I would not join any dating sites , I would not entertain any prospects for at least a year.
Of course the first month is difficult hell maybe the first two. When you are used to having someone around constantly , reality hits you when you are reduced to yourself, your measly lonely self .
I was definitely bored , but you know what , I told myself this too will pass and you will be ok. I knew I had to find something to preoccupy my time. So for the sake of me time I went back to what I enjoyed , I dated myself. I took myself to the movies ( it’s cheaper going alone lol) , I took my self out to eat) that’s also cheaper lol).I even signed up for some dance classes. I would sit at home and read books, catch up on shows, pick up new hobbies but most important I did what I wanted to do , there was absolutely no compromise in getting to know me better.
When I was tired of being alone I called my friends , I said yes to hangouts instead of no (woe is me lol ) . I did happy hours when I could , or even just went to the basics and hung out at friends houses etc .
In that time frame I became more confident in myself , I felt worthy but most importantly I allowed myself time to heal from the breakup. While I wasn’t over my boyfriend right away but I had the will power to not use him as a crutch and more importantly not use another dick as one too.
I hate when people say the quickest way to get over someone is to get under a new someone . I think that’s how it goes. Well don’t believe the hype . All you will end up with is a space filler. Will that rebound really make you happy? I mean truthfully how many times have you broken up with a person only to get back with them months later meanwhile in between you dated someone else.
While I’m no longer single I still do stuff on my own from time to time. It’s very refreshing to have time to myself to think or do what I choose uninterrupted. Next time you find yourself single , try it. It’s ok to breathe.
