I can't count how many times my friends have complained about their
partner coming home later than normal, or expected, or not coming home
at all. This seems to be a common problem that all of us deal with but don't
discuss. If only this topic was not so messy.
When my boyfriend and I decided to embark on this “New Found Relationship” the topic of what time we expected each other to be home definitely came up. Initially I felt I should be able to come home whenever Iwant, I mean after all you do trust me. He felt well if you are in a
relationship why are you staying out until the sun comes up. Of course, I
felt like I don't need no man imposing on my freedom and I am grown lol. Imean we are all grown, right?
We went back and forth about this for a few days. I had to think outsidemyself and also put my relationship hat on. If the shoe were on the otherfoot would I care about what time he came home, did it need to be areasonable hour, does he need to shut the club down every Saturday with
his single friends? The conclusion I came to was maybe he was right, justmaybe staying out until whenever was a lot for someone who was notsingle.
We revisited this topic until we were both able to agree that 2am would be
a reasonable time for either of us to be home by or at least check in witheach other if plans change. This is not set in stone but the bottom line is wehave a common understanding. I do feel like since we came to thisagreement, it leaves one less thing to argue about or discuss.
I asked a few people their thoughts and some said it is controlling, whileothers felt it made sense. I mean for my relationship it works as this is a mutual agreement and again we are flexible. We are two people who value our relationship, respect each other and don’t like arguing.
When you are in a relationship take all of the guessing work out of it. Have
a conversation, be open and respect each other's views, you can accomplish a lot in discussion and avoid stupid arguments. Hopefully this will be one less argument you will need to have.