Growing up the idea of dating a man with kids was frowned upon. As I came into my own I wanted to have my own family , and date a man who had no previous attachment. Well at 31 the chances of that are becoming far and few in between unless your into 20 year old men lol.
For starters for some reason the men that I have been in relationships with (two to be exact) both had children. In my first relationship he had one child. The circumstance with that was cool , I loved his son. Baby mama drama was ok. I wasn’t dealing with the phone calls or the cheating with her ( to my knowledge). She and I got along for the most part. I mean we were young so there were a few bumps along the road.
After that relationship ended, I said to myself I should try dating someone with no children as I don’t have children. I want to be with someone who can just up and leave when they want to or someone to be all about me.I mean is that to much to ask for.
I stumbled upon a few men without children but none worth starting a relationship with. Fast forward to my current relationship. He is a man with children. Initially I was not interested and not solely based off of that but if you read my prior article about “Ditch the list” you would understand. However I decided why not give him a try. I mean who isn’t down for a free meal right.
Nine years later we are going strong. People paint the picture of dating a parent as drama filled and potentially a money pit and headache. In all actuality it’s about the maturity of the person your dating. I have heard horror stories of the child’s mother not letting the father see his kids , or the mother calling the new girlfriends phone all the time or being worried about your man cheating with the child’s mother often. Even the whole child support issue and the issues that are known to come with that, this can all be too much for a person with no kids and living a comfortable carefree life. I mean who wants to be bothered with that.
I would say my overall experience has opened my eyes.
Be opened minded! Not all men cheat with their child’s mother. There are a lot of great fathers out their who feel that what happened in the past is in the past and I’m simply here to be the best dad.
A real man will lay down the rules when it comes to his child’s mother but also you! There should be no reason why a child’s mother is calling your phone nonstop to name call or curse you out or vandalize your car etc. I have met countless woman who have said they receive harassing calls from the child’s mother all times of night. If this man wants to be with you he will make that clear and make sure there are no issues with the child’s mother and his new interest, you.
He will handle his business! There are a lot of men out there that are on child support and the situation may or may not be a fair one. While this is additional money going elsewhere ,this man will make sure that you are not affected. Of course things come up , we all fall on hard times but I like to look at child support as another bill , such as a car note or rent. Bottom line is it’s a bill that has to be paid every month otherwise you won’t have a car to drive or place to live right. No matter how high or low the bill is you make accommodations to make sure it is paid every month. So the same should be done when it comes to child support , it’s something that he will always have to pay and a real man will make sure those obligations are met when it comes to his child but also make sure his obligations do not affect you (if this is a serious relationship of course ).
His parenting ill reflect the the of father he is! I can not tell you how many times people date someone and think he will be a great father only to have a family and now say he’s a horrible father. Actions always speak louder than words and what better way to show you that he can be a great father for your future family by showing you with his current children.
The older we get, the more likely it is that the propects out there will have children. I always like to say, sometimes things are not what they seem and sometimes have a weird way of being better than what we thought it to be. So give it a try.