Why is it that many of us have this long arduous checklist. I cannot count how many times I have come across females who are single with a checklist of things a man needs to have. My question back is always what do you bring to the table?
I think that so many of us look at the façade of looks but what about the relationship, what about 30 years from now?
When I first started dating I was never one for a list regarding a man ( maybe that’s why I dated a habitual cheater for four years lmbo ). But honestly speaking , I just went with what felt right . What I will say is the older I got certain things definitely became important , such as does he have a car , does he have a job , does he have a degree , does he have health insurance, does he have his own place and how many kids does he have if any.
You might say to yourself that’s not much of a list and your right bc I’m pretty simple but I based my list off of what I could bring to the table . Yes I am flexible with the list a tiny bit. The reason being is I know my worth , and I always say anything you ask of someone else you have to be willing to do or have yourself. So I used my list to work on what I could bring to the table and worked on myself and obtaining those things such as a degree or my own place. Doing this made me realize that relationships are not about list.
Ladies to be honest those are basics and realistic. To say he has to be 6’5 , drive a BMW , have a house , make six figures. I mean come on do you have a house , do you even have your own place, what kind of car are you driving , is your credit good enough to get a BMW, lastly what are your job prospects?
I will never forget listening to a girl clown my boyfriend because of where he worked and what he drove. There was no need for me to say anything because all that mattered was I knew what he had and what he brought to the table . In her eyes he did not have a BMW , or the flashy stuff , but she didn’t know him to know any of that , all she knew is what she saw.
Most times the flashy package isn’t what it seems , it comes with headache , heartache and a lot of false promises and drama. I am not saying all men who are 6:5 and make 100k are crazy but what I am saying is Ditch the Checklist and take a chance in love outside of the box. Yes we all have things that we may not be willing to compromise on but let those things be things with substance.