Why are we always mad at the side chick

There’s nothing like dealing with a cheating man and the side chick. A few years ago  I had to experienced a situation where my man(now ex man) was cheating. It’s always said that as a female you have an intuition. Well I had an intuition. 

My ex and I had been dating for a few years and while he cheated before , this time I forgave him and we were moving forward. For months things were running smooth no complaints , but something told me things just weren’t right. At the time he had two phones ( I know what y’all thinking but it’s not like that lol) and he happened to have left the other phone home. So my gut told me to check his phone , idk what I was looking for bc this second phone he didn’t use much . 

So I go and open the phone , I check the emails , I check the texts and nothing . Ok let me check the pictures and what do you know he was in the pictures kissing another girl. In that moment my heart completely dropped to my feet. You couldn’t tell me I wasn’t going to marry this man for all I knew he was my soulmate. 

I immediately called him , he came home and said his sorry’s 25x. I wasn’t trying to hear that and I broke up with him. In that moment, like many other times I was pissed with him and also the other girl and the other 25 girls he cheated with. I called this girl and definitely gave her a piece of my mind. This led to a lot of arguing and going back and forth. Threatening texts on behalf of the both of us. 

Why did I allow myself to stoop to this girls level of anger.? Why did I call her to curse her out for sleeping with MY man? Why didn’t I reserve the cursing out for him ? Was it that it was easier to deflect the accountability speech onto this woman who knew my man wasn’t single?

As they say time heals all wounds and it did . I never took my ex back after that . The one thing that bothered me  was my behavior with this other girl. She was not committed to me , she did not lie to me , while she knew my boyfriend was not single he chose to cheat not her. 

Like so many other women , I was mad at the other women when I needed to hold my man accountable. There was never a need for me to be mad at this girl. I had gained nothing by arguing with this girl over a cheating man.

Because my man cheated , that didn’t give me a pass to go off on the side chick . What that gave me was a pass to assess MY sitution and make the best decision for me and my cheating man. 

I by no means profess to be perfect but , one thing this lesson taught me was to hold the right people accountable for their actions. To often we take our man back , forgive his cheating ways and still be ready to fight the side chick five years later. Why? 

 I encourage anyone who reads this to not feed into the games of a side chick and deal with your man and move forward.

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