Why Do You Think You Will Be Different !

Have you ever dated someone and thought well, he’s a cheater but I’m different so he will change? Or the thought of well he’s a deadbeat father but he won’t be that way with my children? How many women feel that way or felt that way? How many times has it turned out different?

Let me speak from experience. My relationship with the habitual cheater definitely didn’t turn out great. Him and I were friends for a while before we dated. When I say friends; friends as in a few years. I witnessed him cheating on all of his girlfriends while venting to me about it. Me being team women of course, I would try to help him see both sides of the relationship. For him he just never felt satisfied or that one girl was enough. I guess he enjoyed the variety of attention.

Eventually we took our friendship to the next level and became a couple. You couldn’t tell me he wasn’t going to change for me, I just knew he would. Well he didn’t change. He treated me the same as he did other females except now I wasn’t the woman he came to for advice it was many many other girls. Crazy right!

I thought I could change him and I didn’t. Why would I embark on this relationship thinking I can change a Person? Why do we do that, do we think our pussy is that good to change a man, do we think because we got our shit together he is not going to cheat? What is it. 

As women, we watch those before us make these bad decisions that it’s almost ingrained in us to date the cheater, the deadbeat father, the man whose career is unemployment or the one who’s a mama’s boy. We owe it to ourselves to break that cycle of trying to change a man and focus on changing ourselves to be great women. 

A great woman does not get into a relationship with the mindset of oh he will change, she is in the mindset of this is who he is today and most likely in the future.

“Change yourself and those around you will change!”

I don’t know if someone came up with this quote but if they haven’t well than I came up with it lol. This has been the theme of my life. While I am still learning, growing and changing, I cannot tell you how me changing has helped me navigate life. When I changed, my friends changed, my boyfriend changed, my social life changed. Everything in my life has changed because I know who I am, what I deserve and most importantly what I do and do not want.

We have to grow as women, to realize that you will never change No One! When we live life with that mindset we fail ourselves, our kids and most importantly our future. The only person we are responsible to change is ourselves!

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